Detachment is never easy in a love relationship. When we are involved in close relationships – whether with a lover, spouse, friend or family member – we leave ourselves vulnerable and open to heartache on some level. If this relationship turns toxic due to emotional abuse, verbal abuse or another negative personality trait, we often find ourselves needing to become detached from loved ones in order to maintain our own feeling of self-worth and sanity. Yet this is easier said than done; the more emotionally entangled we are with another individual, the more difficult the process of becoming emotionally detached can be.
The process of emotional detachment can be psychologically draining and can seem impossible at first. But it is possible to do so while still being able to focus on the good character traits of that person. This may seem like a contradiction in terms but we can compartmentalize our interactions with another in order to maximize the good times and minimize the bad ones. By heeding the following advice, detachment with love can often save a relationship that may have otherwise imploded from negative emotions.
Practicing Emotional Detachment with love ones.
1. Do not be afraid to set boundaries. When you allow yourself to become engaged in a battle of wills with a toxic person, you have already lost the battle. You must remove yourself from the negative situation as quickly as possible. Tell them very firmly that you will not stay and fight with them; you will leave until they are ready to discuss the issue in a mature and respectful manner. This often diffuses the situation and allows both individuals to think about what they want to say to one another.
If the conversation begins to turn disrespectful again, tell them that you will be leaving again until they are able to calm down and rationally discuss their issues like an adult. This can be difficult, yet it is an abiding principle in detachment with love. Holding the other person responsible for their adult behavior is vital to their learning to express themselves in a more mature manner.
2. Don’t take things personally. While this is more easily said than done, it is important to remember that you are dealing with a person carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Often their tirades – while directed at you – have nothing to do with you. It is imperative that you remind yourself of this regularly, as it is too easy to begin blaming yourself for the other person’s emotional well-being. Remember, we are not responsible for the actions of others. We are only responsible for our reactions to those actions; that is all we are held accountable for at the end of the day.
Learn how emotional detachment has helped many overcome negative situations and comments from people.: Emotional Detachment for a Better Life
3. Choose a new favorite word: “NO”. No is the watchword in detachment with love. Saying no has saved many a relationship as well as ones sanity. If your loved one is demanding more of you than is reasonable in the relationship you are well within your rights to refuse. If you are unable to give in a loving manner, saying no is the responsible thing to do. Otherwise you are giving in out of resentment and anger, and those are not emotions that will serve you well to carry around for any length of time. Also, when we say no we are giving our loved one the opportunity to learn to care for their self as well as to learn emotional maturity which is a vital component in spiritual growth.
4. Forgive, but do not forget. Many times we refuse to forgive an individual who has hurt us in some way. When we do this, we are only hurting ourselves. We can forgive them for their behavior, while remembering that they are capable of perpetuating this type of behavior and reminding ourselves not to fall victim to it again.
By forgiving, we are taking the burden of resentment off of our own shoulders; yet by not forgetting we are arming ourselves with the knowledge of how to behave differently should the incident occur again.
5. Know when to say goodbye. This is the most painful aspect of detachment with love. Sometimes a relationship is impossible to salvage, and we must know that to say goodbye to an abusive relationship is to say hello to a new and better future for ourselves. It is never easy to see a loved one turn into an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend or ex-spouse, yet often for our emotional well-being, saying goodbye is the only viable option.
While emotional detachment is difficult, detachment with love is the kinder and gentler option to our own psyches. By detaching with love, we allow ourselves a more fulfilling life. We are also leaving our loved ones more aware of their own behavior, and knowledge is half the battle in spiritual and emotional healing. When that healing takes place, beautiful things happen.
Here is an extract of our eBook Emotional Detachment for a Better Life.